As a first time mum, I spent at least 90% of my time santitising everything in sight, including my kid. Bottles were boiled and then soaked, clothes were washed in organic baby safe detergent made from unicorn horns with antibacterial properties, and I bought NSW out of hand sanitiser – which I poured over anyone who came to visit Henry. I was so paranoid about Henry getting sick from germs, I would actually give his bath a bath before he was allowed in it. Obviously now that I have a 16 month old teenager, this has all had to change – because Henry licks the floor on a daily basis and just last week he brushed his teeth with toilet gel.
So anyway, I had Henry in the pram recently and was strolling around home (Kmart) mainly looking to purchase things I can’t afford and don’t need, and I was stopped by a woman who had picked up Henry’s dummy off the ground. “I’ll give you this, he obviously can’t have it back now” she said. And for some strange reason, I immediately replied with “Oh nope, definitely not, we’ll take that home and then wash it” – knowing full well that as soon as she turned the corner out of the bathroom accessories aisle that dummy was going straight back in my kid’s mouth. Reflecting on it afterwards, I’m not sure why I didn’t just tell her “whatever’s on the floor here isn’t as bad as the dog turd he ate in the park last week” but oddly it was my immediate reflex to just agree with her – and then wait for her to leave the scene before I gave Henry the dummy, like I was committing some kind of crime.
So here’s my advice that I clearly didn’t follow – be proud to do what you’ve gotta do to be the best mum you can be. And don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing it wrong – because at the end of the day, if you made it to Kmart and wrestled a toddler into a pram, you deserve that candle – and if that means floor-dummy then so be it!